Faster come the days

I never tell people how I truly feel, so this is very different. I am not emotionally supported at home. My mother is verbally abusive and has alot of bad habits that hurt me. She dismisses my pain, regularly screams at me, and is always gaslighting me. My father just doesn't show any emotional support. He often can't even recall simple things about me. He usually feels like a stranger.

I am a highschool graduate. I graduated last year. Although I was accepted to both universities that I applied to, my parents wouldn't allow me to attend one of the two because it was very,very far. The other school accepted me, but not to the program I wanted, so I was suggested that I take a year off. Which I did. I am extremely anxious about starting my life (which I really want to do), but I have no support from my parents. All they do is discourage and harrass me. I am desperately trying to become independent of them, and help myself. I've noticed that as the past couple of years have gone by, my performance anxiety has gotten worse. To get into the school I want, I have to do an audition and I am terrified. I don't have any encouragement whatsoever. I don't have any mentors or supportive friends. My anxiety is also keeping me from getting a job. As of lately, I've been practicing (music) more, which I'm happy about.

But, the days are slipping by very quickly without having accomplished a lot.