Feeling Toxic
Hey there,
I'm new around here... but have always struggled with anxiety and depression. In the past I've always been able to "cope" or at least... hide it? I've always been able to internally talk myself through things and function for the most part. There was a period where I tried medication but it wasn't for me... I've always tried to opt for meditation and other techniques.
Anyway, lately I've felt I've lost total control. I panic all the time, I cry more than I ever have, I find myself spiraling out of control and I can't seem to stop myself. My s/o has been battling with their own newfound/realization of depression but has been trying to help me where they can, yet I find myself still spiraling over the smallest things... I feel toxic almost. Like an utter handfull and inconvienence. I want so badly to run away from myself but that's impossible, instead I'm just stuck feeling horribly uncomfortable in my own skin and toxic... Has anyone else struggled with this?
Hello
@easyplace3165
Hi, first I wanna say you are so strong and you are not alone. I have been feeling the same, worrying, having panic attacks, doing stuff I don't want to do, and mostly feeling toxic. It has been hard making art while feeling low but it helps me better than anything else. It's hard when you are taking care of yourself alone but you are strong and things will get better. I am glad you have someone who is there for you and understands you. I don't know who you are but I am so proud of you for fighting and it makes me feel like I can do it too.
Sending you love and hugs, we are not alone and we can do it. 
@easyplace3165 Yup, has happened to me as well. It is horrible. In that state I, well, did many things I regret. Seek help, that was the only thing that helped me. Real support, as much as you can get, therapy, talking to family, talking to friends. Share your feelings. To develop the strategies to cope with those feelings takes brabery, and time. Have patience with yourself. Try talking to you as if you were your your own child, or a dear friend. I wish you the best of luck, it will eventually go down and you will feel happy and at peace again.
Yes seek help and support! Don’t ever give up! You are so strong and so brave and so not alone! Keep you head held high as you tackle this tough stuff! You got this and if you ever want to talk just send me a message!