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Feeling anxious and depressed.

User Profile: raistlinmajere
raistlinmajere July 7th, 2022

My best friend whom I get along with very well might get into a partner soon , and I personally struggle a lot with abandoment and attachment issues due to my abusive household , so I see the new person as a threat for myself Despite her reassurance that she won't leave me , she did mention she might have less time for me ( which is understandable ) and sometimes won't shut up talking about her new person despite me having told her not to . I feel strangely betrayed and hurt . Am I not good enough for her ? You know , I always thought I was something special , we even referred to one another as soulmates , but now she wishes to make someone else her number one.


Am I the bad guy for feeling bad about it ? ( Note : I haven't done anything to hinder her new relationship except talked to her about my feelings , although I didn't specify that I felt betrayed.)


Overall, I struggle a lot with maintaing relationships and what we have is very special to me.

1
User Profile: bluelotus99
bluelotus99 July 7th, 2022

You are not less special simply because there is a new person in her life, and I'm sure she doesn't think you are less special in any way as well. It's understandable that you feel threatened by this new person simply due to the fear of losing your friend if nothing else. Don't think yourself as the bad guy in this situation. You are not the bad guy. You are feeling certain emotions, which are valid, and you communicated these emotions to your friend successfully. The rest is up to her. It seems she already made it clear that you won't lose her, which is very good news.

If you really think you have attachment issues, this could be a good opportunity to focus on it and find ways to alleviate the negative feelings that surfaced with this new situation. Maybe check out this guide as well (I understand your problem is not boundaries but the article contains useful information in itself): https://www.7cups.com/boundaries/