Feeling guilty because I feel am not doing enough
I need to find a new Job (due to the coronavirus) and the job search is almost defeating me. Looking through Job adverts depresses me, because I feel I am not qualified for any of them. Browsing LinkedIn actually made me cry. Consequently I feel very tired and scared and reduced the time I spend looking for Jobs. On the other hand, I feel very guilty about not dedicating more time to the job search. But I had so many failures that I feel that I am useless to the world and never gain financial independence.
Recently I applied to my dream position and I am very anxious about hearing back. I feel like if I don't hear back from them I totally failed in my career and all the work I did previously is useless. I don't know how to go on. I feel so demotivated and my social anxiety messes with my ability to "network" (which everyone insists is super important apparently.) I also fear the longer this goes on, the lazier I will get and the more I will be angry with myself.
It sounds like a pseudo imposter syndrome you are dealing with, given that is my grain of salt opinion. It must be frustrating to not feel like you are doing enough, then motivating yourself through guilt, which ultimately will set you into a vicious, unproductive cycle of negative emotion.
I don't know about you, and what is helpful for you as an individual, but please, atleast while you are waiting to hear from your dream job, distract yourself with whatever you find pleasureable.
I'm sure you've gone through very difficult times in your life so far, that in retrospect, are quite hyperbolized. It might feel like this something that is going to last forever, but it won't, yet that doesn't mean what you feel right now is not valid.
