Feeling lonely
I grew up as the middle child, so growing up I was always ignored and always felt like I was loved less than my siblings. This has now caused me to have anxiety when I dont getting attention from whatever guy Im talking to and it causes me to always want to have someone in my life so I dont feel alone. I feel like Im constantly talking to a new guy or catching feelings for someone only because I want to feel special and I want to feel loved which is something I didnt get growing up. But its gotten so bad that I literally check peoples snap scores to see if theyre ignoring me for someone else. I always just freak out and I want to stop depending on having someone in my life to make me feel special. I want to love myself and learn how to be there for myself but its very difficult when life has makes me hate myself.
Hi all,
I have deep anxiety and depression. I'll be writing a little novella to post here about me(it's complex) but I wanted to offer an observation I have made about these threads which rings so very true about myself.
The same people who are reaching out, expressing themselves and asking for feedback and advice, are the same people giving feedback and advice to others in the community. This is not too surprising because we are all ok in some areas of life. What might be surprising is that the advice they are giving is often the exact same advice they should be taking themselves.
It's the same with me. I can support and help people through their problems and often do. What I cannot do is take my own advice. My ability to carry out my own wisdom, listen to it, trust it and benefit from it is completely separate from the wisdom itself.
I'm kind of glad I have seen that I am not the only one with this trait. It makes me wonder if the problem lies in that rather than in the anxiety and depression itself. A&D are feedback loops in themselves and even worse together. Perhaps all that is needed is to break the loop by being confident in our own wisdom. Perhaps we just need to care less about what people think of our intellect and decision making, forge our own path, take control of our heart and mind and be prepared for and accept mistakes we make along the way as lessons.
I'll be back!
cheers
wayne
I've just realised I posted this in the wrong place, sorry. WIll try and delete.
@peachField4237
First I want to give you a big virtual hug and tell you it's gonna be okay.
I can relate very well to you story about feeling alone and not loved. My brief fling with a woman just ended and I also felt like this that I needed her to validate me over and over, the problem, it was never enough. In the end it didn't work and she left me, with that said I'm trying hard now to accept myself and all my flaws, I'm not perfect nowhere near. But I have a big heart and I try, believe me I try and so should you. You are lovable, you are beautiful, you are amazing like the rest of us, you just can't see it but it's there. 
So what do you do when you have no one and you're feeling down each and everyday??
@Henn24
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling, virtual hug incoming *hugs Henn24 . I don't know if this is gonna help but this is just my two cents. When I encounter a problem for example I'm single and I don't want to be single anymore I start to look around at other ppl. There are tons of ppl in relationships so it's possible and I start to work towards that. I'm still single but I've dated a lot more women than I've ever done which mean I'm still in the game! :) Every time I fail is one step closer to my goal, because I've learned something new!
Maybe this could apply to you too, a lot of ppl have friends okay how do they make friends? what quality do they have that one has to work on? Could I be friend to someone for example being a listener here, or joining a club doing charity?
I belive in you!
