Feeling that I am not enough
Parents divorced 5 years ago and started new relationships since, practically excluding me from their life. Dad has a "new family" and mom is in a questionable unhealthy relationship. I know it is not right but I feel like it wouldnt be this way if I was good enough.
In my vulnerable period I met a person (29 y/o, I turned 18 a little bit after meeting him) who made me feel like I am worth someting. Long story short it quickly became a mentally abusive relationship (long-distance) and it took me half a year to cut ties. During that period he slept with multiple people and developed deeper feelings for one, making the feeling of not being enough so much stronger.
For different reasons friend group is falling apart. And so I don't really feel loved by anyone. All other aspects of life seem unimportant. Very little to no motivation to do basic daily tasks and yet my schedule is filled to the last hour because being productive is the only way I feel worthy of something.
I guess I need someone to talk to because I don't have such person in my life at the moment.
@Kruus
I'm sorry you're in this position. The "not good enough" thing is all too familiar to me.
This might not carry much weight, but let me say it anyway: you are worthy of love. You don't have to earn it. (I'm not sure that what you'd earn is even love, come to think of it.) I realize it's hard to believe that when your family and your friends are turning away from you, but try to trust a total stranger on the internet. You are worthy, even if no one is paying attention.
If I might ask you a question: what does "good enough" look like to you?