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@Geoffgarden102 Sorry for the late reply and I'm even more sorry that you have been struggling with this. This was a prevalent issue in my last relationship. It was something we both struggled with in different ways. His fear of losing me stemmed from self-esteem issues. He kept thinking that I was going to wake up one day and see him completely different and leave as a result. This strained the relationship because I was always reassuring him and it felt like we were talking more about our relationship than experiencing our relationship (I hope that makes sense).

However then it I started to get insecure. I started showing symptoms of depression and that led to a bunch of other issues. I was so lethargic that I didn't feel like going out as much. I was so overwhelmed by the sadness that I wasn't laughing or goofing around or even enjoying myself when I left the house to spend the day with him. My sex drive was lowered so much that we didn't have nearly as much contact as before. (So bad that I didn't even want to share kisses or cuddles). As my depression worsened and these behaviors became more prevalent, his self esteem sank. He kept seeing this as a reflection on himself instead of understanding that it had nothing to do with him but rather was a problem with me. That's when I started feeling insecure for beging a bad girlfriend. I wasn't able to act like myself to show him that it wasn't him (I told him but he didn't believe me). then I thought he would leave me because I couldn't give him what he needed.

Ultimately, he did. Our problem wasn't that we stopped loving each other. Instead our problem was NOT working on our individual problems so we were better equipped to support the other. If he met with someone to work through his self-esteem issues instead of leaning on me for reassurance, he wouldn't have left when I wasn't able to provide him with constant affection. If I had met with someone to work on my depression, I wouldn't have left him without that reassurance that he needed so badly.

Perhaps your situation is the same. There might not be anything that needs to be fixed in the relationship but it would be helpful to seek help from a professional to work through these fears. If this anxiety is already getting in the way of the relationship, leaving it alone is definitely going to allow the issue to grow into a bigger problem. Its almost like a self-predicting prophecy that you need to actively work against.

@Geoffgarden102

well i never had a girlfriend so i dont know. kinda i am 42 years old too, i had relationships. but my advice try to keep calm whatever happens dont yell , dont get upset, try to talk things over and see why is that you get upset, and see what is that is not working, try to see if you can fix things .