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Fiancé leaving

User Profile: controlfreak1243
controlfreak1243 March 9th, 2021

My anxiety and lack of self control has caused me to snoop through her one and act out in anger. I’ve promised over and over that I’ll change but I think it’s the last straw. I told her I’d get help and talk to someone but idk if it can be fixed at this point

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User Profile: warmheartedSpring3954
warmheartedSpring3954 March 10th, 2021

@controlfreak1243

hello,

i understand your situation because i have realy bad anxiety and sometimes i lose control, i get overwhelmed and i panic to the point that when my boyfriend is here and his phone went off i just turned the alarm off and saw something strange and instead of asking i just got angry...

we did manage to fix it but my advice would be try to find things that help you stay calm and not overthink, try to communicate your worries little by little.

it sounds so cliché but communication is key, also that way you both know each others worries and issues and can try fixing them together.

i know you can get better because i'm getting better but it takes a bit of time to have that confidence and to stay calm in those situations.

hope that helps a bit.

User Profile: controlfreak1243
controlfreak1243 OP March 10th, 2021

If you do t mind could I ask what you did to get better?

3 replies
User Profile: warmheartedSpring3954
warmheartedSpring3954 March 10th, 2021

@controlfreak1243

yes of course, well i started to tell him what was bothering me and my concerns and also what i was anxious about, i wrote down a lot of my anger and got it out that way, when i think of negative thought such as maybe he is doing something he shouldn't, i tell myself okay let's think about everything and think if that's really possible, think about every positive thing about that person and try to stay calm, i know that making a list of the positive things and the negatives things helps, i try to be more relaxed and when i start to panic i talk to someone so i don't immediatly just lose it on him...

i think it's important to talk about everything but also when you feel anxious and feel like you will explode maybe talk it out with someone first to analyse the situation and think why you feel that way, talking here has helped a lot because i get my ideas and thoughts out and then when he comes here i'm more relaxed and we calmly talk about those things.

2 replies
User Profile: controlfreak1243
controlfreak1243 OP March 10th, 2021

Thank you. I’ll try some of that out

1 reply
User Profile: warmheartedSpring3954
warmheartedSpring3954 March 10th, 2021

@controlfreak1243

no problem, try to stay calm and find something that helps you keep your mind away from those thoughts, that way when you both talk you're in a better place and are calm enough to express yourself without anger coming out, that way you both comminucate better.

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