Funeral and Visitation Anxiety
Hi, so my bfs grandpa passed away last week. The vistation is the evening and funeral tomorrow. There is limited occupancy for covid so I am honoured to be invited to support my boyfriend and want to be there for him and his family. I just feel awkard at funerals and dont know what to say. I am always uncomfortable amd find funerals and visitations nerve racking. Even worse, when his grandpa passed on Thursday, I went to my bfs grandmas where his family was that day. I walked in and said hello but didnt say my condolenses right away. His mom is kind of old fashioned catholic and she called me out for not saying it right away which really hurt my feelings as I had every intention to show support. I was already nervous on what to say and just sort of "got my footibg" in the social sitiation by walking in and saying hi. I know emotioms were high for everyone though. This lead to a really bad anxiety attack thursday night. Anyways, I am wondering if anyone has any suggestions or can relate to this. I am going to go to support my bf, I am just nervous.
@tealTurtle5359
Your feelings on this are completely understandable. I would have felt this same way in your shoes. It sounds like you understand the full picture and are able to see that the nerves were running high and that explains why the mom might have called you out like that. Sometimes people don't even realize what they are saying or how or even what they said has come off, especially while in a fog of just losing someone dear and close to them. It's still not easy to go through and experience, but you have some really great perspectives there. How are things going?
Hi @FlourishingDimensions, I appreciate your response. I agree, nerves were definately running high. Having seen my bfs family since, I am glad that everyone seems calmer now and that they are adjusting. The funeral and visitation are over now, and I am glad I was there to suppport. I still feel awkward and I dont know what to say when someone brings up death. I am just trying to accept that I may never be great at talking about it, and I just might not be the kind of person who knows what to say in tragic situations, but thats okay.
@tealTurtle5359 I know what you mean, I have searched for a long time for what to say, I always wished I could find the perfect thing to say to someone to help them feel better, to take the pain away, and really, I have found just being there for someone is a huge help. When I lost someone very close to me, what I can remember the most and feeling the most appreciative for was just having people there for me. One of my best friends was always there to support me. Sitting silently with someone can help them more than any words possibly could, sometimes, you know? I think you did a really great thing and were there for them. You were and are there for your boyfriend. 
