Heartbroken and lost

This whole post is probably going to sound so cliche but I have to get it out.
As a 19 year old my mental health has literally been a train wreck of so much. What's triggered me to be so scared the most is the people who've hurt me in some type of way. Particularly people I've easily made room for to care deeply towards. For some reason I always fall for it. Whether it's a new friend or relationship. I get too emotionally attached to escape any potential flaws within my choice. I'm causing heartbreak and trauma on myself in many ways. I would like to fully blame the actions these so called friends over the years caused but I really can't. I hurt myself emotionally causing me to live in fear whenever I'm in a new situation. It's become harder to love or know if I should truly love /care about someone and if they're the right person to love. Previously I've sensed fear, felt like I've overcome it, opened up my real happiness to these 'friends' and then boom, they hurt me. I've come across far too many wrong people in my life that sometimes I want that feeling of escaping. Escaping to be alone or in some remote location where I won't be hurt anymore. I've put so much of my love into people that threw it right back in my face. I'm tired of being hurt and scared this is just a curse I have to put up with the rest of my life.
Part of me is truly striving for some kind of peace. A chance to truly rest and love openly.