Hello...I feel isolated
I just found this website right now and you all seem really nice! I just wanted to vent out something I've been keeping to myself for a long time. Right now im in the 1st semster of my junior year of high school and I feel extremely scared for my future. I've been trying to keep my grades up and do as much as I can in school, and so far I've actually been doing really great and I'm proud. The more time goes by though, the harder my classes have been and the harder it is to keep myself productive and successful. I've been doing good but what really affects me is that people have been putting me at really high standards since I'm part of the top 10 kids in my class. Any time I mess up and get a low grade on something, they comment in shock saying " Aren't you a smart kid?". I want to yell and say " No I'm not a smart kid, I just try my best" but no one would understand why I try so hard. Most of these kids in the top 10 are born with parents that are really educated and theyve have been doing well since they were kids. I can never explain my situation because I wasn't born like that. My parents are illegal immigrants and they never finished high school. I never even knew they didn't have papers until I was little kid and saw that my parents had jobs none of the other kid's parents had. Ever since then, I gave more effort in school and my grades went from D's in elementary to A's in middle school and so forth. I've been doing this so I can help my parents when college comes around and earn a scholarship that'll help with tuition. I get so angry that I want to cry. I can never explain to these people that I'm a "try hard" because I want to help my parents. I have never been able to tell people any of my problems ever because they all revolve around my parents being illegal. I've been able to keep my anxiety to myself for a while but right now I can't and my head hurts. I can't believe people can't understand that maybe getting straight A's isn't because I want to be better than you, but becasue I have people I want to take care of.
@stubboo Thank you for sharing your story! I think you are such a strong person to put forth all of that effort in school to work toward your goals. I commend you for that. If I recall correctly, I remember hearing that junior year of high school is often the most academically challenging, so I'm sure that it is normal to feel as though the material in your classes is becoming much more challenging. Feel free to message me if you'd like to chat!
@stubboo
That is quite a load to have on your mind while in school and all that generally happens during the teen years! Do you feel like you can communicate this with your parents when others are not within an earshot? I hope that they are able to gain legal status at some point. <3 I'm sure they must be very proud of you no matter how you do on the school work.
