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Hi! My name is Martina.I'm 15 years old and I'm a Brazilian girl...my English is not the best, but there are no efficient apps like this in my language, so I'll try to write in English as I can.
Since November of last year I have had severe pain all over my body, I had a stroke and lost some skills, I became a wheelchair user and I was strong enough to face innumerable physiotherapy sessions, today I am better and I can walk, but I discovered that I have a pseudotumor in the brain and I was being very strong but since last Monday the pains are much stronger and I think every day about suicide...I dont know what is happening to me, I have always been so brave and now I am deeply sad and exhausted, I need help.
I take lots of pills, but the pain does not go away.
I started a new treatment last month with stronger injections and it has worked, but the healing process is very slow, it can take years and I cant take this situation anymore!
@Martina231
Hi Martina. Welcome to 7 cups and thank you for sharing what is happening fpr you right now. And let me just say that although you might not think so, your english is very good!
It sounds like you are having a tough time at the moment with all that is going on, and that although you try to be brave, you currently find it hard.
Its good to hear that you can walk again, I can only imagine that all those physiotherpay sessions for that to happen were hard work, or am I wrong?
It must be really hard for you not knowing what is happening, and not surprising that you are feeling sad and exhausted.
I know that you said that you cant take the sitiation anymore but I wonder how you feel being on those stronger injections?
As you are only 15 and I am not a teen listener we cannot chat 1-2-1 but we can exchange replies on this forum if you think it would help.
Take care Martina
paul
@calmPaul281
Hi Paul!
I really didnt think my English was good, thanks for the compliment!
The physiotherapy sessions werent easy and I have to face them to this day, because I'm not completely recovered, but I feel much better just by standing up.
The injections I take are showing positive results, but sometimes when I feel a lot of pain I have a lot of bad thoughts, I think the treatment will not work, that everything will go wrong and that I will not be able to heal myself and then I have anxiety and self-harm crisis that I cant control!
I do therapy with a psychologist, but I cant talk to her about my suicidal thoughts or about self-harm because I feel guilty and ashamed.
I really dont know what to do!
Thank you for the time you dedicated to answer me, for the support and attention 😃
@Martina231 You have been and are being so brave. Take a step back and see how much you have accomplished. Your thoughts and feelings are nothing to be ashamed of, its a very difficult time and you deserve all the help you may need, talk to your therapist when you feel ready.
Hugs
@Martina231
Hi Martina. Sorry for the delay in answering!
Yeah I bet those sessions are hard but its good that you are now starting to feel better.
I think iy t is understandable that you feel anxious if you are thinking that the treatment will not work and everything will go wrong! I wonder if you have considered another way that you could think about that situation? A way that would be more helpful for you?
As far as the psychologist is concerned, I wonder if you have thought about any ways that you could approach how you are feeling without necessarily going in staight to those topics? Afterall they are there to help you, and myabe if you feel you cant tell them maybe you could change psychologist?
You are more than welcome!
Take care
paul