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Im not sure how comfortable I am with this but here goes nothing. I feel super broken and unmotivated lately. Which I know isnt me. I want to be the role model for my sisters that I know I can be but Ive lost motivation and positivity. My so called boyfriend only makes things worse but I love with him and I cant afford this place on my own. My mom is stuck in her own world and Im pretty sure she gave up on being my mom years ago. Im in a lot of debt trying to help my family myself and my boyfriend. I constantly think about that. I try to put a smile on so the world doesnt see but I feel myself getting worse everyday. I feel so alone. I moved across the country by myself and the friends Ive made here just dont seem real or people I can go to about anything important. I feel lost and alone and I dont know what to do. I work 3 jobs and have a volunteer position I try to stay active and nothing seems to make me genuinely happy.
@redPond7306
It sounds like you're THE support person for your family. I share the feeling of not seeing any fun or enjoyment or happiness with simply devoting yourself to long hours of work and duty. It might be good, if you can, take a day off and go to the country and refresh upon trees, animals, and water. That helps me at times. You might consider training your children and boyfriend to help out more because you need their help to keep things together. As far as your mom, I think the best you could probably get is an understanding of why she is the way she is. My mom also gave up when I was younger. You might think 'well, if I take time off to go to hug a tree, then something's going to fail'. If you think that, don't forget to think that something is already failing, your happiness.