I can't let go of the past
It has been almost 2 years already but these feelings are getting worse
Long story short, a girl post a picture of my bf with her friend being close to him (she was trying to get them together eventhough my bf told them he is in a relationship) She even contacted me telling lies trying to make me break up with him...
...and I get these weird feelings of hot and cold sensation, I can feel my heart beats getting louder and my hands get really shaky whenever I think that someone I know accidently saw that picture. I know it doesn't look like a big deal but for me it is... Whenever I get the panic attack(?) I wanna check to make sure everthing's fine but it always hurt me after seeing the picture again...
I can't really afford a therapist right now since I'm unemployed (which worries me a lot 
) but I hope to get a job soon... for now I really need help on stop worrying...
P.S.
My bf have done a lot of things to make me happy after that incident but I'm the one who can't just let go...
@ProactivePeach94
Just remember that if you met your bf today, regardless of the past, that you would want to be with him, and refuse to look at pictures from the past which have nothing to do with either of you now.
It's hard, I know.
@DavidEss
Yes, thank you for saying that, I really appreciate it. We are in a long distance relationship so it gets hard sometimes, but when we do meet I forgot everything and able to sincerely enjoy my time with him. I guess spending time with him helps, but our time together is rather limited.
Currently, whenever I get a panic attack I try to do something like playing games to distract myself 
@ProactivePeach94
You know, I suspect that the energy for this comes from an occurrence much older than your relationship, and I'm sure a good therapist would be able to get to the bottom of it given time.
Even that wouldn't dispel the pain, though. But it would allow you greater insight into your own process. You would know why it feels so painful lol.
Love and blessings.
@DavidEss
Lol, I know, the pain wont get away just like that but its nice to let it all out just like now. So thank you so much for replying 
Ill try to get a therapist as soon as I can!
@ProactivePeach94 I'm also in a long distance relationship and understand how difficult it is. But knowing you're making it work with someone you feel strongly about feels so good :)
If you don't mind sharing, what does your communication look like with your significant other? I have found feelings like this for me have gone away when we have strong, regular communication and share how we feel about each other often. It helps to reassure my tireless brain from going to places that make me upset.
@healingOcean78
Awww, I hope both of you stay strong always! Yes, it does feel good 
Sure, I dont mind! In my case I rarely share how I feel, I should do that more! I guess its true that absense makes the heart grow fonder?
Lets see, everyday we always send a good morning/good night message. During any video call, we try to take screenshots of each other silliest faces and then make fun of each other or just talk about our day (doesnt matter if its important or not) until both of us fall asleep. We also like to play games together and have a (healthy...) competition lol. Sadly since hes working he only has some free time at night... So during the day is when my anxiety strikes lol.
But I guess, being in a long distance relationship, its important to argue less... ^^; but if we did get into an argument, we didnt stop contacting each other and try to make up as soon as possible.
Hi ProactivePeach94. The symptoms you described are physical symptoms of anxiety that your anxious thoughts are causing in your body. To move past this and process it, you may need to ask yourself some honest questions. Is this just anxiety about what happened? Or do you feel like there is more to this story so you can't let it go? It sounds as though you have made the decision to stay with your bf either way. If that is the case, then make a conscious effort to let the past go and begin a new path with him. Reliving the past will poison your present and future relationship if you don't let it go. It helps some people to do a letting go ritual, such as writing the event down on paper, and then burn the note and release the emotions attached to it into the fire. Hopefully, you find a way to move forward. Take care.
@LovelyRose77
To be honest, sometimes I do think theres more to the story but I already get all the answer from my bf for every possible question that disturbs me. It's just that my mind keeps generating a new problem, its annoying really... But so far I just shake the thought away and enjoy whatever I am doing at that time.
They are younger than me but I'm weaker than them, I feel stupid...
Thank you for your suggestion, I will try to do it when I have the time!
@ProactivePeach94
For what it's worth, you don't sound stupid at all to me. Quite intelligent actually! Have faith in yourself that whatever comes in the future with your bf that you will have the strength to get thorugh it ;-)
@LovelyRose77
Thank you so much for saying that! You dont know how much it means to me. Like your name, I can tell that youre a very lovely person 
I will try my best to look forward for a better future!
@ProactivePeach94
Thank you! And best wishes on your bright beautiful future ;-)
@LovelyRose77
Thank you again! Likewise 
