Well, for one, don't face all your desicions all at once. That is overwhelming for me to even think about haha What I try to do is focus on just one desicion, usually a minor one (do I want brownies or cookies) and then slowly keep working up my list of desicions when I'm ready. For some reason, it reassures me that I will be okay after I make that one small choice (brownies for sure), and then the next one doesnt feel so daunting.
Its the little things that get me through haha
I've had that same feeling. Deciding on a career. Choosing whether to move out or not. Deciding what to eat for dinner that night. I mean it's all just so irritating, isn't it? Others around you always coming by saying "what did you do today?" or "what did you decide regarding *insert problem here*."
And sometimes it's like, why does anyone else even care what you do? Right? They don't make an effort to understand anything else about you, so why take interest in your decisions?
And the ACTUAL decisions. Man. So many of them are permanent. It's so anxiety-inducing to commit to any one path. It's like the story of the fig tree in Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar:
"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet."
Terrifying imagery there, huh? That's the power of our decisions or lack thereof @just2475.
And that is precisely why we must make them, even when they are difficult and terrifying and perceived to be meaningless. Nihilism is the enemy of all people who desire contentment. Life is difficult. Man, it just is. It is both the most difficult and longest thing we do. Yet, it is short, and yet, we overcomplicate it.
If you're like me, you don't want to make decisions because you're afraid the outcome will not bring you peace, or to the contrary, will bring you more suffering. I'm here to tell you that there's no way to know. No guarantee in life.
But if you don't make them. If you turn from them. If you turn from life. You'll end up with dozens of rotted black figs at your feet and you'll starve to death. Some say it doesn't matter. Some say that life is pointless.
Perhaps, but I believe that is precisely why we should make the most out of each breath. Not in some hippie-dippie way, but in the frame of scientific reasoning. Each moment that we are suffering is just another moment we could have felt something incredible.
I wish you the best, my friend. I believe in you, even if you don't believe in yourself right now.