I don't even know what I'm doing
I have had 2 best friends for about a year and a half, and they're amazing. I'd do anything for them. At school we have a tolo coming up and one of my best friends asked a guy and my other best friend asked a guy who had a really huge crush on me about a month ago. I don't want to go just so I can be the fifth wheel and thinking about it makes me go into mini panic attacks. I don't exactly know how to even carry on at school or a social life when both of my friends are getting involved with boys and I just want to hang out with them.
@SinkingFeeling
Well, I don't really know how to start this, because my head just screams "Feel you" right now.
I also experienced things like that. Everyone around me was getting involved with those "Love"-things, I never really understood (And didn't figure it out yet either). And just when I felt this tiiiny hint of something they called love nowadays, someone (frequently one of my so-called-friends) came up and perfectly made me screwing this up, so I ended up feeling much worse than before.
So that's when I made this terrible mistake and tried to... kinda force love. Literally threw myself on boys and kinda begged them to love me, just to make me feel better. And if I can advise you something (though I'm really not good in giving advices): Don't you ever try that. Never, in no possibility and in no universe, because it totally destroyed me.
And I can absolutely understand you're feeling like the fifth wheel, because everybody around you is like throwing pink butterflies everywhere and you just want to go back to before, when there were no such things like dating and guys involved. Feel you. Honestly. For me, to be honest, it just ended when I finished high school. I couldn't do anything against it, because A I didn't have the balls to do anything, like possibly telling them how I feel and B I felt like I deserved it. And here, I'm telling you the second time: This was the biggest of the biggest mistakes anyone can do. You can change it. You can talk to your friends how you feel and maybe, you can arrange yourselves. If they are true friends, they will understand and try to figure out a solution with you. And if they don't understand, hey, what are they still doing in your life, then? I know you possibly will not like hearing that (because most people don't), but you are young, you can find new friends, real friends if your current friends aren't (I'd rather not have you this, but just in case), you will meet so many people, and - one day- you'll realize, what true love is. I really wish you to.
Well, this was kinda more of a list of things you should not do than I presumed, but I hope I could help you a little bit.
Feel hugged :) <3
