I feel like crap
I am really sorry to hear that you're going through this. I really think that you are an awesome human being and remember that you are not alone,and I mean this, I'm sending you my biggest hug and I really hope you'll find light and peace very soon
@Darkseed
I really hope things turn out better for you, friend. 
Sometimes, we have to struggle through the times in our lives that bring us down in order to get back up later. My day at work today wasn't that much better than yesterday, but I was able to get this upcoming Saturday off for the memorial service.
However, I still noticed an overall lack of empathy, and that really sucked. I know we're short-staffed but rather than trying to pick up the pace to a point that's almost impossible and lose their human empathy in the process, they can settle down and just try to do what they can ... and those who want it all done right now are just going to have to be a little more patient.
I truly hope you have better days ahead, and soon! Take care ...
I wish I had seen these during the day. It would have made me feel more welcome in this life that what today turned out to be. Thank you.
@Darkseed
Keep your head up man. I don't know much but I know youryo not alone in this thing
@Darkseed
Youre welcome. 🙂 I dont always have time to post during work break but this time, I do..
Today, its going better for me because I have coworkers to talk and laugh with, but I was too busy the last two days.
It takes time to muddle through a hot mess every day - for me, sometimes its like schlepping through quicksand. Not everyone at my workplace gets that, or gets that just because Im back at work means Im done grieving ... so when theres a lack of empathy, lately Im just not gonna give a darn to try to do more than Im capable of at the moment
How do I get rid of the dark feeling of dispair in my chest? At times, it's anxiety. Sometimes, it's just a visceral feeling of wanting to cry and get out of the pain that is life. I'm so tired, and each day seems the same with little to no relief ever coming. In fact, things only get worse day by day.
@Darkseed
I'd been feeling like that for the better part of two years as panic attacks gripped me before I started going to some coffee and conversation meetup groups. I later went to dinner groups and now I'm on the road to making new friends as I begin co-organizing and even organizing some of the groups. It was a big step forward for me but these group sizes are manageable and the fact that we're all sharing common interests helps me get past at least a good part of my social anxiety.
I live in Chicago and cannot drive, but attending some of these meetups may be easier to do in a big city. I can get to and from using public transportation, or Uber/Lyft. As I've continue to be involved with this, I've realized that maybe big city life is my thing.
@AbbyHarris1976
I live in a rural area. Otherwise, I would try something like that. If there was an anxiety group where everyone had to hug everyone else, I would unabashedly.
@Darkseed
Living in a rural area would be tough for me unless I was right by the main street of the small town where I could walk to shops, restaurants, etc.. Each Chicago neighborhood is like its own small town, with CTA bus routes and El train routes going through the small towns. I can even walk to grocery shopping, coffeehouse, church, though work is a little further than walking distance for me - I usually just take the bus.
One of the meetup groups I help organize is for those with social anxiety.
@Darkseed
Honestly, idk if it ever goes away completely. At least for me. But with therapy and hard work I can manage it know and not love in constant despair. And when I am feeling it bad I can ride it the storm a bit better.
Living in a rural community is hard because it's just way tougher to find that help you need and those people you need. I live rurally too. IfI recommend finding a listener here you can bond with and can fit your schedule it maybe the chat rooms. I also think you can PM people but I've never tried before so I'm not sure
@Darkseed I am sorry 😐 that how you are feeling you deserve better. They are wrong you are a wonderful person 👩💻 please believe in you I believe in you we all do.