I'm New Here and Feel Out Of Control
I'm at a very weird place mentally. I feel on the verge of a mental breakdown and have this feeling of dread all the time and it seems like something is sitting on my chest. Home life is stressful, trying to manage schooling and worrying if school will be in session in the fall. I'm so unqualified for this and my daughter will be in 1st grade. I'm worried she's not even retaining what she learned this semester before quarantine. How am I supposed to teach her new stuff? I'm not good at this and I don't have the patience. At work, things are completely messed up. I work on a pediatric unit at a community hospital. Long story short, my unit could be dissolved because of the virus. It may never come back. I feel so brokenhearted and helpless.
All of this has made me angry, irritable, paranoid, and withdrawn. I can't even begin to describe the emotional rollercoaster. I just need things to go back to normal. I need some good news. I'm tired of it being a new horror every day. What I really need is a break from reality. I don't know how feel better. I don't even know if there is anything to be done that could make me feel better. It all feels so hopeless and that's terrifying. Like even as I'm writing this, I'm thinking "Is there even anything that anyone could say that would change how you're feeling?" I don't know what to do or who to turn to.
@kspark9311 I think you're right that nothing we can say can necessarily make you feel better and that's okay. You have good reasons to be stressed as you are concerned about your pediatric unit, your daughter's schooling, and the overall situation the quarantine brings. You do not have to be perfectly happy in this situation even though it would be easier to function without a mental breakdown. I think at the end of the day many of us struggle with our thoughts and experiences, but it helps to take baby steps. And even if what we may not say can feel you better, I think what's more important is that many of us are willing to listen to your story and feelings
@luxx454
I do appreciate finding this avenue. It seems like a lot of my friends are just "meh" about all this and don't get why I'm feeling this way.
I feel so out of control that total acceptance feels the only logical choice that I have left.
So maybe there is an answer there for you too.
@SilverbackTiger
That's kinda the conclusion I've been getting at, but it doesn't make me feel better. #controlfreak
@Lou1993
Me neither, haha.
@SilverbackTiger
Lol