I’m broke
My relationship financially with my husband is messed up. He works construction and is job to job in the hours and pay scale vary, so every time I bring up creating a budget, he always says one cannot be made because of how inconsistent his income is. He makes good money, but it always changes. Depending on how much he works, sometimes he goes through dry spells. I finally had my first full-time job out of college when I get pregnant. I was there about seven years. We decided I would be a stay at home mom. I have loved every second, and always have felt this was how my life was supposed to go, staying home with my girls. I have done little jobs here and there after they got a little older, but we are kind of isolated where we live and don’t have much help for me to work outside the home.
Oops I wasn’t done lol I don’t know how that happened. Anyway as I was saying, someone had to be here for them before and after school, someone had to make the meals, and that person was me. But I feel such resentment from my husband that I’m not bringing in money to help with bills. That’s why I tried to get what little jobs I could, but of course I’m not making the same amount he is, but he feels I should be bringing in and paying half of the bills straight down the middle. That has been stressful. My girls are old enough to be home by themselves now, but I don’t want them to be home all day by themselves. I had a part-time job and it was working out but then Covid hit. I am still not working. But I am trying to start up my own thing out of my home. So far no luck getting business. But it’s only been about a week so… Anyway I have had a little bit of funds put away for my own spending money, whatever my husband brings in all goes towards bills. We have a separate account and a little money I made went towards groceries and small needs for my girls and gas money. That’s really all I could afford. Well I am out of money. Totally out of money right now. I am afraid to ask my husband for money because of the resentment he holds that I don’t have enough money to pay any bills. Today we have a baby shower we need to go to that is an hour away and I’m scared if something happens to my car. My husband is not going, but I am bringing my girls. I just feel like the whole financial situation between my husband and I is really messed up and I don’t know how to fix it. In my eyes the only way is to create a budget even if it’s job to job. He won’t do it. He’s the type that does what he wants when he wants. I think I’m just generally anxious today because I am literally out of money, I spent my last $20 on gas yesterday. And it didn’t fill up my car. I don’t want to ask my husband for money. I guess I’m gonna have to get a job but I got a find some thing flexible enoughTo be here for my family when they need me and allow me enough time to start my little business from home until it gets going
