I messed up again...
I keep making poor judgement calls and it's really throwing me into a self loathing tailspin. I have no one to talk to, so I'm hoping by writing it will help me work it out and get some feedback.
My boyfriend only had about 4 hours of sleep last night. He went to take a nap in the afternoon and only expected it to be an hour because he wanted to go hang out with his friend later that night. Turns out he set his alarm for the next day. He is extremely upset and frustrated with me for not calling to wake him up. He slept for about 5 hours and now wont be able to get a good night's sleep. I assumed he just chose to sleep later because he was so beat from the night before. It was an honest mistake, I thought I was looking out for him. I failed to consider the consequences for his sleep pattern being out of wack the next day. I feel like total gargabe. What was I thinking? I chose the complete illogical thing to do. So sad, anxious and lonely now. I hate myself for always making a poor choice. It seems like such a minor issue but in the grand scheme does it mean I am just an incapable person? How can he trust me enough to build a life together now? Am I even worthy of love or affection? Has anyone experienced the same thoughts, or have any insights?
@unassumingAcai8
Hi,
I thought I could share with you my thoughts and sprinkle some positivity on the way you are feeling and thinking. It is only natural that there are times we may do the wrong thing and, it can be easy to allow these moments to negatively bring us down. The negative thoughts tend to live in our minds and often, creates this negative perspective upon ourselves and we question our worth. I know you feel like you made a poor choice in this situation but, the fact the your boyfriend didn't or couldn't wake up in the time he was suppose too is NOT YOUR fault. If he put an alarm on, but didnt wake up then thats on him. If he told you that he wanted you to either call him etc to make sure that he was awake around the time he needed to wake and then you failed to do that then I could understand why he would be a little bit upset. In that case, you may have been making a poor decision to not have helped him wake up but unless you have been told by him then he should not assume for you to know.
You are loved, worthy and important. It is okay to bad poor decisions. It's okay to make mistakes. It's not fair to blame yourself over things that are either out of your control or not your responsibility. Even when you do make a mistake or make a poor decision, instead of blaming yourself or looking down upon yourself try changing the way you mentally process the situation. For example, looking at things and reflect on the situation to improve yourself and to avoid it re occuring in the future.
Hope you realise that you are deserving of everything you desire 
Much love
@LittleMissJoy
Thank you so much for reaching out, you put things in perspective for me so well and your kind words and advice really helped. Once the negative thoughts take over it's so difficult to climb out from under them. It seems my inner dialogue is my worst enemy at times like these. I have been trying to practice more self love with positive affirmations so slipping back into the negative patterns is disappointing in some ways but I will learn from this and grow stonger at fighting those inner demons. Thanks again for the support!
Much love and appreciation to you
❤️
@unassumingAcai8
<3 <3 <3