Im middle schooler

I feel stressed 24/7 and I'm not good with eye contact. I don't know why but I just assume the worst with people around me like all the time and think that they probably think of me weird. My family doesn't know it or acknowledge it at all. I sometimes can eat and entire day I don't eat anything.

When I was in elementary schooler and when we moved to another town, things got down hill. The boys would bully me and say very mean things to me but I wouldn't cry or I would just ignore. The girls seemed nice, that's all they seemed. I would hang out with them of course because there was no other groups to. Two of the girls in group would make fun of me and other girls would play along and I would feel excluded like all the time. Before coming to another town, I was a very hyperactive kid who used to have fun with people and always be outside 24/7. Just to tell you I wasn't like this before.

When I reached to 6th grade, I stayed away from human interactions because I thought I didn't need people in order to live. And I Every day was so tiring and it felt like I was there for weeks in classes and I would sometimes sleep in my teachers class and it didn't make people happy especially my fellow classmates. I always felt like a ballerina dancing on a stage non-stop for her audience and if she takes a break, people will blame her shout and throw foods at her screaming contiously, at least that's how I felt. And at that time I would be stressed every day to the point I wanted to quit school. I always randomly looked out or look at the roof and then suddenly the tears would come out, and when I relaxed even a second, I would feel something weird. I think I had anxiety in the way that I was annoyed wy anything. If there was a noise, my brain would scream, if someone talked to me I would be irritated, if someone tried to be kind I would doubt that person and my relationship with people would never last. I was basically a grumpy person and people finally leave me alone and I was glad and relieved, but sometimes lonely. When I would see someone with other and be happy, it would make me cry. I felt like a worthless piece of trash but everyone is too.