I'm so exhausted in every single way.
My heart breaks every day. I feel so stuck in my life. I used to love everything and find beauty in the darkest, ugliest places. This past year, however, has been so hard for me. I can't focus on anything, and I'm so afraid to move in any direction. I am incredibly grateful to have such a strong, loving support system, but it feels like a prison sometimes. I want to be able to support myself and feel independent for once, but I don't know how! I don't drive, can't find a job that won't sink me deeper into depression, and nothing that I used to enjoy seems to do anything for me anymore. I can't sleep, can't eat even though I'm hungry all the time, feel constantly sick to my stomach and have to use every ounce of will not to dry heave every morning. I have to force myself to stomach things just so that my body doesn't start breaking down. My best friend rarely hangs out with me or talks to me lately, and I can't stop obsessing that it has something to do with how sad and anxious I am all the time. I don't want to sabotage the only real connection I've ever had with anyone. I'm so lost and so afraid to talk to anyone. I really need help.
@KnotTheNorm
Hey there, it really sounds like you have a lot on your plate and I am sorry for all the distress and depression you have been going through in your life recently. It definitely is a tough period, maybe even a phase. I am glad to know you were once happy and optimistic. Right now, to make you feel better you should talk to someone. Letting others know of your problems usually is the first step to solving it.
If you would like to contact a listener, https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/
If you would like to contact me personally, leave me a message. Although I may not respond immediately like the listeners on Browse Listeners.
Best wishes,
Prio.
@KnotTheNorm
Hey Knot :) I hope you can find the strength to talk to someone about your experience. Sharing it and having someone listen to the pain and anxiety you are experiencing can help a lot. In my experience, talking with different people about my thoughts and feelings helped put them in perspective. It helped me understand that though my distress is valid, it can look very different from different angles and that can generate some peace for yourself that you're not completely stuck.
You have this great community to reach out to, hope you start to feel better soon!