Is Reality Even Worth It?-Maladaptive Daydreaming
Hello,
I have no idea if anyone has posted anything about maladaptive daydreaming here on 7cups, but since it can be considered a coping mechanism for anxiety, I think I will put this here.
I have excessively daydreamed since I was a kid, but it got way worse when I became a preteen, and lasted all the way through college and my career. I use maladaptive daydreaming to escape my feelings and reality. Now, it has become almost addictive. I feel like I need to be daydreaming 24/7. The settings, the characters, the relationships and my imagined versions of my alternate selves are so lifelike and fulfilling, that to outright quit would be like cutting off a piece of myself. And I can't quit entirely, because my daydreaming often fuels my writing.
However it's getting out of hand. If I am not daydreaming, and I focus solely on reality, I feel a sense of derealization and dissasociation, and a feeling of immense despair and lonliness at the grimness and emptiness of my reality. Like I am watching a slow movie unfolding with ominous indie music in the background-and not a movie I want to see.
When I daydream all the time, it leaks into my reality. Sometimes its good, and sometimes its bad. If I think of myself as a kind person that everyone likes, I'm in that mindset, and I act that way. But if I think of myself as blunt or detached, that's how I come off. But I can no longer tear myself away from the background noise of my internal dialogue.
I know I can lessen this behavior by reducing triggers (like limiting internet time and music time) and focusing on mindfulness practices to bring me back to the present. But when my present feels so cold and empty, why should I? I am doing and have done everything I can to make my life the most fulfilling it can be, but it is still going to suck. That's just the nature of the beast. Do I even have a reason to stay in the present?
@JessieKat
The world you created is a fantasy to escape pain, fears, anxiety, trauma. I know it well, I also practice it for years, without realizing it. But at the end of the day...it's not "real." only in your mind. I know it's hard to live in this world, it's a broken world, full of suffering, pain, trials, and very hurtful broken people (like you and I). But the truth is if you choose to believe it, let the light in your eyes, and hold onto that belief, it is worth it through all the trials and hardships. When you begin to search for your purpose in life, you will come to the realization that all those hardships, tears you cried, were worth it. Look above your present situation and circumstances, hold onto hope, we need it desperately in a broken world like this.
When I respond in the forums, my heart hopes that someone will hear the truth, but most likely it's only a few. But I choose to hope each time, I respond because I believe one day, one person will hear it and hold onto the words of life I write.
In heart, I pray that it will give them the strength, courage, wisdom to keep choosing to live, press on, keep fighting for their life. This world says so many lies and hateful things and people become discouraged, disillusioned, and go into despair because of hateful words and beliefs.
@JessieKat
Hi, JessieKat. Sorry for the late reply ... I want you to know that you are not alone! 
I'm just a teen, but I also struggle with immersive daydreaming, and it sometimes gets to the point of maladaptive daydreaming. I know the feeling when you escape from the world you've built, and the current world feels so empty. It can feel as if our happiness only exists in our daydreams. I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling with this, and I truly hope things get better for you soon.
What I can say is, yes, reality is worth it! It sounds like you have good techniques that will help you start handling these challenges. Overcoming these thigs isn't easy at first, it can seem like a scary journey. But although it's painful in the beginning, don't let it discourage you. You've come so far and you have the strength to make it through this journey.
Something that's helped me keep my daydreaming in check: setting goals, and understanding why I daydream. Setting a goal for myself has helped me find a reason to keep moving in reality, and made me feel like there's something in it for me. Find something you love to do, and set a goal for yourself to become better at it or to do it more. For instance, I set a goal to learn more about a subject I was interested in, so I took some classes and lessons. This will give you a source of motivation, hope and happiness in your real life, and make reality seem to be more worth it. It's OK not to reach your goal -- what matters is that you keep aspiring towards it.
The second strategy is to understand why we daydream. Pay close attention to what triggers your daydreams, and when you feel most absorbed in them. When i did this, I realized that I usually daydreamed when I was lonely or hadn't talked to many people. Once I saw this pattern, I tried talking to people more and that eliminated some of my loneliness. So understanding what causes your daydreams, and working on healing the injury that they are trying to fix, will also help you.
I'm wishing you all the best, and if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here! Take care!
Thank you (I couldn't find the upvote button on your post for some reason)
Hello,I am so grateful that you shared this! I am suffering from it too. I want to get out of it but I can't