It keeps coming back

@Sunshinedaisies2 I understand your frustration. I have been going through a similar process where I seem to be slowly improving over a couple of months and every once in a while that progress can be completely erased over the span of a few days. It is so frustrating to feel like you're starting at square one after you know how much work you've already put into feeling better.

I've had many conversations with my counselor about exactly this. He doesn't have much to say on the topic and therefore I don't have much to offer you either. But I think the most comforting thing he's told me when I am dealing with this is that "Today is not yesterday". Meaning that just because I am feeling worse doesn't mean I am the same person I was when I dealt with these emotions the first time. My situation might have regressed to something I had to deal with before but my mindset towards the situation is still the one that has been improving all this time.

It may feel like you've traveled back in time and regressed to how you felt before you started this self improvement journey. But that's not true. This is just a mistep not a backslide. You aren't back at step one because nothing can take away the knowledge that you've acquired along the way. You know which strategies work best for you. You know which activities calm you down, which ones help you work through intense emotions, which ones distract you the best. You've done this before and that means it won't take as long the next time to get back to where you were.

It's frustrating to ride out these lows after climbing so hard to get to the highs. But you aren't falling lower than you were before. And it won't take you as long to climb back up because you're familiar with the terrain now.

I hope that this helps. I wish I had more for you. I remember wishing my counselor had more for me when I was dealing with this. But the words did bring me some comfort especially after I accepted that this was true.

couldn't agree more. 2 years ago I made significant progress. I got on with life and took it to a new level again. January and boom. Panic attacks, fear etc. Taking one moment at a time just to get through and living in purgatory it feels. Just a nightmare