Just tired…
The last year and a half have been so draining. I have says where I’m OKAY, but most days I’m really struggling. My anxiety has gotten worse over the months.
I left a verbal and mentally abusive relationship with 3 kids (15, 10 and 5) in May of 2021. I have been planning to leave for almost 8 years, but finally decided to put my plan into action January of 2020, however, COVID put a wrench in all
of that. We ended up stuck in the home for all of 2020.
I stuck to my plan and left. The breaking point was our oldest was diagnosed with severe depression/anxiety and bi-polar disorder. I walked in on her attempting to kill herself.
she has been admitted to adolescent IP psych twice, most recent September.
I was able to purchase a new home, but now dealing with her normal teenage defiance and drug and alcohol abuse.
I toggle her psychology appointments and psychiatrist appointment every 2 weeks and her meds. A 504 plan is in place but there are days where she just cannot wake.
I still work a full time job and dealing with the divorce. The narcissistic behavior of their father is causing this divorce to drag. We have t even made it to
court yet as he has served me with mediation.
The new house also had some repairs that no one expected.
mom having to tell my kids “no” and their dad is now the “fun parent”. He takes them out, spends money on them at restaurants but has not contributed to anything else for them. So I am paying all expenses for them, including the medical bills. He is also on my insurance as he quit his job in 2020 to pursues a business that I’m not even sure is making money.
It is so hard not to feel alone in this.
All I want is peace.
@Organicgurugirl
Being exhausted is understandable in your position. You have quite few full time jobs happening all at once! Work, parenting, overseeing therapy needs/appointments/house repairs, plus the strain of the past two years. And emotions around your ex. Any one of those things alone would be tiring. 💛
I’m just trying to figure out how to “manage” it all and be okay with doing nothing at time.
Just recently (Jan 25) she attempted to fatally self harm again by overdosing on her bipolar medication at her father’s home. I had to rush over there and call 911 as her father was frozen in shock and allowed 30 minutes to pass. This time she was admitted further away and I was hopeful they would keep her longer. She was only IP for 7 days to stabilize then released. I was devastated but still here to advocate and help her manage. She just qualified for IOP yesterday and will start tomorrow. I’m trying to remain positive and upbeat but the stress of the assessment has me worried as she didn’t reveal everything to the therapist. I’m hopeful she will while in therapy.
I feel helpless at this point as I know that she has to WANT to do the work in order to turn the corner.
I’m going to use this platform plus NAMI group sessions to help cope as I’m still trying to heal from my own trauma as well.
Thank you for the encouragement.