Money Issues
I posted earlier about a wedding I attended. I paid for the hotel which was more than I could really afford given how I have no reliable source of income. My mom said don't sweat it, she'd write me a check since she knew I didn't have the money but its been a week and still nothing. Like I'm fighting a panic attack with every tool I have, knowing I have...the bare minimum in my savings account. I don't want to ask because it'll set off a fight about my getting a job- which is a whole other trigger for panic attacks. So I feel in stuck in a damned if I do, damned if I don't spot.
Don't say anything- worry about money- have a panic attack
Ask my mom for the money- fight about my getting a job- worry about getting a job- have a panic attack
I'm just...so tired of feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place.
@writerchick88
I have experienced (and seen in others) how money issues can negatively affect psychological balance and generate serious conditions. For some reason the "money thing" is a vicious circle. The less money you have, the more you feel bad and you can't work on making any money..so you end up without money and the story starts up again.
I have been there too. At some point I was in front of a choice: give up completely or try anything I could to save myself. Fortunately I picked the second option. Noone knows how hard it was to even get out of bed in the morning and go to work, when at the end of the day I had to count coins to buy my food. I am seing the light at the end of the tunnel now, and even though the journey has left me broken inside, I am still alive.
I wish you to be soon able to break out of the circle, and start creating something good. 
@writerchick88
I know how you feel having recently had panic attacks for similar reasons. Does your mother know about the panic attacks? It may take a bit of time getting her to understand fully but may be worth a shot if you haven't already told her. Another few things that helped me are in the path menu here on 7cups which are the panic and anxiety self help guides and the "mindfulness" audio tracks. There's one specific to panic attacks under "education and assistance" heading.
@writerchick88
i can completely understand how overwhelming money issues can be, and how it can make you feel. Just remember that you’re doing the best you can right now, and give yourself some space. I’ve heard you say you’re sitting in the discomfort already, so maybe this is an opportunity to have some open and honest dialogue with your mother. Sometimes these conversations are hard, but you’ve already shown how strong you are by getting through this on your own.
Regardless of the choice you make, just know that you have a network of support and resources here to help you move through this.