Need to be cheered up

I've been living like a zombie for a year. I quit my job last year, i'm 23 now. Every day feels the same. I watch movie everytime i feel down or kinda sad. It takes my mind away from overthink about everything.

I still go out, i sometimes push myself to go out to meet my friends, i'm aware i become clingy to my boyfriend. I feel anxious everytime he goes out without me. But i know i should be better.

But it's Christmas and i'm alone at the gym bathroom, feeling sad about myself. I tried working out to feel better. But it hits me, 2 days ago, my friend ask me "are you feeling happy right now?" And i can't answer, and i can't stop asking myself what i honestly feel.

I keep going out, laughing about stuff, smiling and joking around. Told everyone i am happy and feels good about my life. But i know in fact i need help.