OKAY THIS IS KEEPING ME UP

HI IM HAVING A BAD TIME!! UM. i kind of just want to vent but HUGE trigger warning for Bugs, seriously.

okay so. my familys house isnt exactly the best or well built but i love it! its the first time in my life we've had a house! it goes without saying though that we sometimes have roach/ant issues. now, the house is very small so i ( a college student) have to share a room with my younger brothers (6th grade/ HS senior) which leads us all to tonight....

SO I WAS PREPPING TO GO TO BED AT ABOUT 11ISH.. ITS A SATURDAY YKNOW AND AS IM PUTTING MY CLOTHES AND MEDS AND THE BIGGEST COCKROACH IVE EVER SEEN CRAWLS OUT FROM UNDER MY MEDS!! I panic and turn on the light so I dont lose it- squash it with my shoe snd spray it with windex but it hides UNDER my mattress!!! (GROSS I KNOW) I ask my now awake brothers to hold up the mattress so i can kill this thing. and they both refuse. the 6th grader is cowering under his sheets too scared, and the HS senior is just brushing me off, saying its whatever and going on his phone.

i get so frustrated bc i CANNOT lift this mattress AND kill the bug- so i have to wake up my poor tired mom to help me out. she did and its all handled now. but my baby brothers are REALLY upset that im mad at them- i dont think im in the wrong!! but i dont like seeing them sad either..

ALSO THE ANXIETY OVER MORE BUGS MAYBE BEING IN THE DARK + THE ROACH KILLER FUMES IN HERE ARE FREAKING.ME OUT. ITS NOW ALMOST 3 AND I CANT SLEEP... ITS BAD YALL