Overthinking and paranoia
I have complete trust in my partner, but for some reason I overthink relentlesly about the girls he chats to.
I know it's just how much I worry and anxiety overtaking my rationality but it can be so overwhelming. I will cry and cry about stupid scenarios that I make up in my head and get so worked up about them.
I'm trying to get better, I'm so scared I will lose my partner over it even though I know he supports me and understands.
@Chloe97
I hope that the fears die down. With your complete trust of him, you have a higher level of intimacy that contributes to a high probability of fidelity. I hope he shares his thoughts, fears, and warmth with you.
@Darkseed
Thanks, I really hope the fear dies down too, I don't want it to overwhelm me to the point I just don't think my fears are worth the relationship.
You're right, mutual trust makes things easier. I sometimes worry he doesn't share all of his feelings with me but I think that's also just worry creeping in as well. I think he shares his everything with me.
@Chloe97
I think men are less in touch with their feelings, and frankly immaturity play a big part in a young man's life. If you're 21 (based on the 97), then he's young and doesn't know what is going on with his life and likely isn't thinking about the future. Twenty years ago, my girl friend was very, very jealeous of my ex-girlfriend. We didn't stay together. The thing was my ex-girlfriend was a good friend of mine, and she was going through a very hard time involving deaths in her family and fights with her fiance. My girlfriend wouldn't hear of me even talking to her, and I remember she would say 'he's talking to 'her' again'. I had no intent of getting back with my ex-girl friend, and I had no intention of hurting my current girlfriend. There was nothing going on, but on one hand my ex-girl friend was crying all the time, and my current girl friend was mad all the time.
The best anyone can do is listen, try to understand and be faithful. I know this is going to sound callous, but if it turns out the he chooses to be with another woman, then he wasn't the right man for you. It's better to not be stuck with a 'wrong man' or 'wrong woman' over time. There are other people out there, and sometimes people choose to stay single from the pain of losing previous loves.
@Darkseed
I suppose every different relationship has different backgrounds, I hope I don't come across to my boyfriend as intensly as that; even when I overthink about him talking to his female friends I try to just say to him that I am overthinking and we talk about it, rather than being spiteful about it. I know he really is understanding because sometimes he overthinks about my friends too and it caused issues earlier in our relationship; but we worked through it then and we seem to be working through it now. I guess for me it boils down to my past and being hurt by someone for a long time but I know this is different and a much healthier relationship.
I hope that I can overcome the worst of my overthinking because it would be horrible if it was the ultimate factor in ending our relationship. I have always considered myself a trusting person so it can be quite overwhelming to worry so much about something that realistically does not need to be worried about. I'm starting to take medication soon for my anxiety and depression so hopefully that will help too!
@Chloe97
You are a wonderful and intelligent person. Your concern that your innate intelligent abilities to analyze problems could threaten your relationship highlight that. I hope the medications can bring some peace. Please never consider yourself at fault. I hope that you two have a very happy, healthy and long relationship.
@Darkseed
Thank you for saying that really appreciate you talking about this with me, i hope that I can return the favour one day.
@Chloe97
Thank you. You're expression of apperciation is helping me out of a low today.
@Chloe97
I relate to this deeply. It's such a heavy burden. It's the worst when you know you are acting so irrationally, but you cannot stop it. I hope you muddle through this <3
@pioneeringDime4748
I'm sorry to hear you relate so much, it feels like you're slowly ripping with relationship and trust apart every time you overthink or need reassuring that there is nothing to worry about doesn't it :( Especially when you trust that other person so much, it feels unfair on both people that even despite that trust, something in your brain tells you to to worry and get worked up.
I hope you manage to get through this too 