Picking at my scalp
So I have this problem when I'm anxious and stressed out. I pick at my skin. But not just any skin. It's always the skin on my scalp, where I have hair. I pick and pick and it will always get kinda bloody, ending with me having wounds on my scalp beneat my hair.
And when I first have gotten to my scalp getting all bloody, I can't help but pick at it, even if I don't feel anxious. I pick at it multiple times a day, bc it itches, and I can't seem to stop doing it, which means the small wounds never heal properly, so I pick at it more.
What is happening to me? Why am I doing it, and does it have a name?
@TheMadHatterWasHere I have similar issue but especially on forehead where it is very visible and on sides of face, but then even back of my head.
Skin picking I guess would be the term (dermatillomania)
It worsens during anxiety and depressive episodes in my case. Can be related to ocd ss well but in my case I seem to have come to my own possible conclusion as follows:
Skin picking is still a form of self harm but I was reflecting recently and I think I choose this behaviour over more destructive self harm.
The problem is that then it becomes a habit so even if anxiety lessens I still seem to do it robitically as a habit.
The only time I don't do it is if other people are near me. So I guess there is sense of shame in it too.
I wish I had something I loved to do with my hands to keep them occupied...
At one point my psychiatrist had given me some medication to reduce the compulsion as it had spread into legs too but I am On so many meds now that don't consider it as my main issue.
Hope you can find some info online which is useful for you
@anonyLemon4233 Thank you for giving me a name for it. I will try googling and see what I can find of coping mechanisms.
It being some kind of self harm makes sense to me. I do it when I'm sad, and ashamed of something hurtful I said, so the scalp picking being some kind of punishment makes good sense to me. In the past I have been a cutter (only on my legs though), so to move to skin picking instead as a form of self harm makes perfectly sense to me.
I actually only began the picking after I stopped cutting.
@anonyLemon4233 I also do have OCD (or at least other OCD symptomes) so that being a part of that, makes sense too!
@anonyLemon4233 Even if I do it in front of ppl too. Mostly bc I don't notice that I'm doing it, before someone tells me that I am. I do it without thinking much.
@TheMadHatterWasHere it is sad we always punish ourselves so much...
Can we thank our scalp and face and rest of ourselves for serving us since our birth?
It's a long journey to get to a point of self love.
Once though I had an interesting experience, it happened while I went abroad briefly to do some solitary walking on islands. It came naturally but I wish I d do it more often. While walking I started thanking my feet for taking me places and then my legs for all the work, my back, hands, senses etc it really took a while but I felt so good with myself.
I wish you kindness towards yourself and a gentle touch
