Really rough day

I'm trying so hard to keep myself from falling apart and a part of me just doesn't want to try anymore. Not like suicidal just the 'voice' in my head that has been screaming all day is winning.

Ok this is going to sound so stupid and irrational but my entire day was thrown off by the spawn of Satan, aka mouse. I was cleaning my room because I haven't in forever! And I found droppings, then chewed up paper. I flipped out because I'm deathly afraid of them. I somehow forced myself to keep cleaning, got most stuff cleaned up before I saw it. Then came the full blown panic attack and meltdown. It took me 20 minutes to convince myself to get off of the chair I was standing in. I put my roommate's cats in the room, with door open amd left. Because I work graveyard shift I should have been sleeping but it literally took me 2 and a half hours to stop shaking. I didn't get a lot of sleep and then I called my dad because it's his birthday somehow that conversation got turned into how I don't have a good relationship with him amd how it's not his fault. The words in my head just got louder after that. Here's a bit of what it sounds like

You are so pathetic, it's just a freaking little mouse, what are you a child flipping out like that, seriously what's wrong with you

And it just goes on amd I'm finding it hard to say the voice is wrong. If I just would be less of a weird freak then I'd have been fine but no I'm afraid of a mouse because I'm a loser.