Scared of My Anxiety
Recently, after a few years of tension, in my family I've finally had a positive conversation with my parents to move past our conflicts. While everything isn't perfect we're all trying to be more open and positive around each other. But I feel like a bad person because I'm taking a weekend trip and I wasn't honest about the reasons I'm taking it. I told them it was for a friends birthday and that others were coming as well but really it's to visit my boyfriend who they don't know about. They don't really believe what I was telling them but we are all in a place where we don't want to tip the balance. I can't stop this tightening in my chest because I'm afraid somehow they're going to find out I lied and everything is going to be ruined and it'll be all my fault. I don't know what to do to fight the anxiety and naseua because I want to enjoy my trip but I'm so scared to.
@affectionateWillow1084
Decieving others, particularily your loved ones, is definitely a huge cause of your anxiety. I am not to tell you if it was right or wrong, because I have not seen the other end of the story. From what it seems, you care about your boyfriend a lot and it doesn't seem like your family fully supports his presence in your life. Debating between two loved ones is surely very stressful especially at your age. However, you shouldn't see your situation as a situation with limited choices. You shouldn't limit yourself to EITHER you tell the exact truth without displaying your emotions, your thoughts and your reasoning or not telling them at all your activities as your parents do have their right to know. I think you should start by calming your anxiety as it could lead you to do or say something you wouldn't mean in retrospect. Here is a guide for anxiety: https://www.7cups.com/anxiety-help/lesson1.html
Next, if you are not comfortable talking about your interest in your boyfriend directly to your parents no matter what, you should definitely talk to different people so you could brainstorm. I reccomend talking to close friends, definitely your boyfriend(tell him how you feel, the situation you are in, etc) and if you want, a listener. We at 7 cups are always glad to listen and help you figure what the best approach to a problem is. Here is a link to listeners that are available to talk to you right now: https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/
Best wishes,
Prio.
