Terrified
I cook my dinner. I am terrified im being spied on and schemed against. I reported undercover police for abusing me and they lied about me to target my ssi disability. I am terrified they will take photos and take them out of context to wrongly accuse me. This is best i can do at being functional. It isnt much but i do my activities of daily living and am in bed mostly. Being targeted by conniving retaliatory detectives cause my heart to beat fast and i cant calm down. Im too frightened. I worry their persecution will give me heart problems when Im older. I cant do more than this. This is my best. Im barely functional but i am terrified of being more vulnerable, incarcerated or homeless. I hate ssi disability lifestyle. I can not trust them to be a secure stable resource. They target us too much and i always fear losing my disability aid. I feel frightened every day. This task force has ruined my mental health and they are not held accountable. There is no justice or security for me. I dont matter and they can psychologically abuse and persecute me and i am forced to live with the damage .
@sensibleSkies8757 That sounds terrifying. I'm glad that you are still doing daily things and taking care of yourself. That's the most important thing. Have you tried practicing mindfulness or meditation to calm your heart beat? Sometimes lowering our physical panic reaction makes us feel more in control of our situation. When we're relaxed we can think clearly instead of just panic and we can plan our next step more conciously
@SecretlyMe
I struggle with this.
I have undercover detectives spying on and documenting everything. They want to pretend im capable of supporting myself and Im not. They are too hard on me. They want to target my SSI disability and get me kicked off. They are placing my safety in danger. I dont understand why SSI disability is targeting mentally ill to kick us off but I need my benefits to survive. Being a beneficiary is great stressor. It causes just as much suffering as safety. It is always under attack by dirty cops who instigate SSI investigations.
@sensibleSkies8757 I can't imagine how frustrating it is to have so many people against you. The stress of this whole situation must be taking its toll on your health and on your mind. I have never been in a similar situation and I don't know if I have any advice to help you. But I truly hope that you find some kind of solution soon so you aren't subjected to all this stress and strain.
Do you have any family that could help you with these investigations. Idk if they take statements about the legitimacy of your need to be on disability but hearing it from someone else might help. Or maybe your family can help you find someone you can trust in the department. Someone who can keep the others away from you. Unfortunately those are the only two thoughts I have at the moment that might help.
Please keep us updated so we can continue to brainstorm new ideas or solutions if things are still difficult for you.
