Terrified of being alone without parents
Once i a while these days qhen my parents are not feeling well i get scared.. terrified would be the right word i guess.. if they are not okay i always have this guilt. May be i didnt pay attention. May be i am not doing well may be i am that capable of taking care of them. What would happen if they are not around? What would I do if one morning i wake up and find myself all alone in the world? I have a sister but she is marriee and has ger own life.. and lets face it even my closest friends wont be able to be with me.. theu can support me.mentally but eventually i'll be alone.. all these thoughts.. they are eating me alive.. may be some.would say these are useless and have no base but i dont think it is something i can handle.... I know i cant save them forever from pain but seeing them in any sort of discomfort breaks my heart. May be rhis pandaemic made me more dependable on them.. i know its an age where they should depend on me but instead i am emotionally totally dependent on them.. Can anybody tell me how to calm myself down in this situation? Any advise will work...
It seems you really care and love them. That’s beautiful! I’m sorry you feel this way but worrying doesn’t change what events happen in the future it just makes the now unpleasant and robs your life’s value. Take care of them and yourself now day by day. I hope this helps in a way. I wish you and your family the best.
It is... It is making every second of my life unpleasant. I dont find anything interesting. Every once in a while i am torn between guilt and resentment about myself.
And thank you for the kind words it really comforted me...
@unassumingJar1322 Caring for your parents is a good thing. It is also important to care for yourself. Doubting yourself and thinking about the future negatively can be mentally exhausting. You seem stressed and it might be that you have been putting too much pressure and expectations on yourself. I hope you give yourself breaks and do things that are comforting for you every once in a while. If you would like, feel free to talk to a listener about this!
Whenever I try to do things for myself i feel guilty that i should out others before me specially my closed ones.but by doing that 6 out of 10 times i make myself uncomfortable and that kicks more anxiety. I know i should think about myself for a bit compliment for a bit but i cant find a good word for myself.
@unassumingJar1322 I can well understand your pain. It could be scary to think of yourself left alone in the world, especially without family. It is because family is our emotional foundation for many of us. Perhaps it could help to discover/explore your identity beyond family as well - what things in life interest you, what are your dreams/goals etc. Closer you are to yourself, better you will be able to serve your family.
For now it seems that i just wanna leave for them... Its this thought which runs in my head that i must not think about anything else much when I need to just focus on giving them priority. May be its the guilt that it took me soo long to be able to do something for them. Or it is resentment that it was becoz of me that they had to suffer this long. Long back when i was young and things were more difficult i used to think that if i was not there may be they wint have this much problem and i am the root of their every freaking oroblem. So now when i am slightly able to help them i should focus on that only.... I thought only these things soo kuch that now I am uncomfortable with myself . Doing something just for me makes me feel for guilty... I know may he does not make any sense but these are the actual thoughts which run inside my mind.
