Terrified things will never get better.

Basically, I bought a house 10 months ago, my first, with my partner. After 2 horrendously long years of sales collapsing, we finally got this hell hole.

It's the biggest regret of my life and drains the energy from me. It's been one problem after another and I'm worried it'll never become a safe space or somewhere I feel comfortable. I still don't like to use certain rooms because the start left such a sour taste in my mouth. I feel like I can't even sell because no one would want this place.

I feel like it's riddled with bad luck and I want out, I feel like such a failure that I don't have a better job so I could fix things properly and make it nice. I've always had the hand me downs in life. Ive been graduated 6 years and I'm still working as a cleaner, I just wanted this house to be one thing I could be proud of and I can't even have that. I've been lying in bed crying for the past 2 days because of it again.

What if things never get better? What if I'll be stuck here forever?