The Gym

I've always had anxiety when it comes to being a public space where there's a lot of people- whether it's the mall, or the pool, school, and sometimes even at home when there's a lot of people. I thought I had been getting better when it comes to feeling okay being myself around people who will never see me again, but it turns out I haven't. I've been trying to work out more so that I can feel more energized and hopefully have a better view of myself, so I finally purchased a gym membership. I've been going with my boyfriend almost every night and getting a good workout in. It feels so absolutely amazing whenever it's just him and me because I know I can be myself around him. But whenever there are other people around, I shut down. I don't want to be seen by others when I'm in a vulnerable state. My boyfriend tries to get me to "just not worry about it" and him saying that just makes me feel even more irritable as if he's talking to me like I'm a child. Worst of all, I don't want the other people at the gym to think he's talking to me like a child or that I'm a problematic girlfriend. Then, I just want to sit in the bathroom or outside until he's done working out or everyone leaves. I don't know what to do about it, because I keep telling myself that other people's opinions of me when I'm just trying to be healthy don't matter. I'll walk in the gym with as much feigned confidence as I can muster, and the second I see another person, it dies instantly. I'm disappointed in myself for not letting it roll off my back and I feel disgusted because of it.