The light at the end of the tunnel
The hardest thing I have ever had to deal with is chronic anxiety suddenly mixed with a spur of depression. I have never in my life experienced "depression" until recently and I have to say, it has been the most debilitating and draining experience of my life. When you struggle with anxiety AND depression, even the most simple tasks can be completely draining. You have no motivation. You lose interest in things that you used to love. You lose sight of who you are and it seems impossible to remember who you were when you were happy.. it's like when you look in the mirror, you're looking at a stranger. That can be terrifying. Day to day activities seem pointless. Doing ANYTHING seems pointless. Sometimes even being alive seems pointless. You're terrified because you don't understand why your mind does this to you. You know you're better than your negative thoughts and emotions.. you know you're stronger than that. You just can't seem to understand why it's happening. Everything could be perfectly fine (and in my case, everything was perfectly fine), yet you still feel this way. Which makes you feel even more crazy or like you're making it all up. But I'm here to tell you... its okay. Feeling the way you feel is okay. You're not "crazy", just a little unsteady. Hold on to any strand of faith that you have and you will get through this. You can make it through. I believe in you. Now believe in yourself.