Tired

I'm so tired right not. Not really in the best state of mind. I have nobody to count to and nobody to go. I'm a student and the school stress is taken over me. I will go back to school soon and during online school I got bullied by my classmates, I am scared that they will stray picking on me again. I'm not really confident and I don't think I will be able to stand for myself.

I have quite a bad relationship with my father. He's quite strict on me and since I lived with my grandmother and stepmother for the last 6 years. I really want to have a better relationship with him and to be able to find support and closure but I don't know how to do it. He's a serious man and doesn't take me too serious.I also have a very strong hatred to for him. He's abused me in the past and I think is is a thing that stays between our relationship. I tired to forget him but I feel a strong anxiety feeling whenever I hear about him or I'm around him.

I have troubles finding my real self. It's not about my confidence problems but rather the fact that I've been judged and made fun of in the past. I've build a lot of ulter egos that I use is different situations because I don't really have a personality that defines me.

The little emotional suport that I get really affects me. I have many things that I've closed inside me. I rarely open up about my feelings and since it's a really bad period me I strat to feel very frustrated.Because of this I have many negative thoughts lately.