Trapped By My Own Insanity

Hi. I'm new here and wanted to try to talk about my issues for once, rather than sitting on them and exploding once it gets to be too much.

I am constantly paranoid that I am being judged at all times. It's gotten to the point that I hyperventilate/having a bipolar meltdown in crowds, so I can't even go to college in person because I can't walk through the door or even leave my car sometimes. I feel like that if I sit in a class, that I'll be stared at or whispered about and it makes me feel extremely claustrophobic. It'a also prevented me from getting a job so money is a rare luxury. I feel trapped by my own insanity but have no idea how to start moving forward from this. I do currently go to a psychiatrist and am looking for a therapist (though none have ever solved the problem since trying to talk myself out of it during a meltdown/black out is really hard).

So yeah, that's it. Thanks for letting me share and I hope that this site helps.