Vent.

I'm a loser. I'm a loser that doesn’t even have their own personality. I copy everyone else's to make sure that I'm likeable. I drop everything as soon as someone pays attention to me. I will do anything just to be important enough to make it to 1st place in someone’s mind. To be the first person they look for. But no. Even the person I'm dating would look for anyone BUT me. They don’t care about me. I'm just a toy to them to play with when they’re bored. And maybe I DO get a little jealous. Because no one ever willingly hangs out with me unless I'm the only person they kind of like in the room. I'm no ones favorite. I'm nothing but a second best loser who tries way too hard to be someone's favorite. I want to make myself something more then a backround character but I can't muster up the confidence to talk to my peers without cracking under the weight of my own overthinking. I just want to be someones favorite. And I finally was. They loved me so much. But after they got what they wanted out of me, they left. and then they decided I was too much for them. I'm nothing. Nothing to anyone. I'm just the least favorite cookie that everyone eats anyway because they're hungry. I'm too much. I get overly flirty once I'm with someone now after my past relationship, and it makes me want to throw up. I want to puke out my entire insides just to feel like I did enough to be worthy to be in pain. I need someone to touch me. Hug me, Anything.