Wasn't meant to be.

Let's call him l/i. l/i's a friend introduced by another friend. I've never actually been really close with anyone, but with l/i it's different. We text once or twice a week, and l/i is pretty busy with his life too. I think i might've fallen for l/i, but we just can't be together. I doubt l/i feels the same way. l/i's someone another friend introduced to me, so my other friends are way closer with l/i than I am, they see l/i more than I do, and talk to l/i more often than I do. Not long ago, l/i was going through something, and I just wish i could've been there for him but i couldn't and I had to watch my other friends go to him without being able to do anything.
And as much as I know that it's impossible between us, I just can't get over l/i. It's been close to a year now. Time passes in a blur, and I have no motivation to do anything. Because what's the point of doing anything if you don't have the one person you want to run and tell? Like i said, i do text l/i occassionally, which is probably why I still have hope. God, stupid hope. The way that one message from l/i can make my entire day, the way i just can't hide my smile when I hear his name, the way l/i leaving me on seen can cause me to have a masssive breakdown. The nights spent crying over l/i, making up fake scenarios of being with l/i. But I just can't be with l/i, and I can't lose hope either, because l/i's the one thing I have left to hold on to.