Whats wrong with me?

I have a lot of relationship based anxiety that stems from a previously abusive relationship. However, now im with someone new and I feel like my thoughts are so far from normal. I have a lot of anxiety about relationships for obvious reasons, but tiny things really seem to bother me in my new one. I rarely say anything, but thoughts consume my brain and don't give up for hours. Here are a few examples; I know about some girls that he spoke to before me when he was single but closely to us seeing eachother. A mutual friend of me (and the other girl) told me they had been talking and the other girl said there was a lot of flirting from his side etc. I dont feel he was like that with me when we were talking. Sometimes I wonder what was really being said, and if I was a second option. This other girl atleast visually fit into exactly what I think his type is (based on his exes and other girls he's told me he used to like) and I feel like im the polar opposite of them. Sometimes my brain won't let it go that maybe I wasn't a first option, or I'm not his type visually, and that that will make him look more at other women or for someone else. Sometimes when we are watching television I worry about who is on screen. If he says consistent nice things about another women (she's really funny, she's so nice etc) not even aesthetic things, I beat myself up and think should I be more like them? Single, I am a confident person. But I feel because of my past im not when in a relationship. I dont feel he has given me a reason to worry, he is so loving and caring and perfect for me. But I can't stop my brain. I feel like there's two of me and my normal self isn't this person inside my head. I know that sounds stupid. I would really appreciate chatting with someone who has expierenced this, but sometimes I feel I'm the only one. I dont feel it's jealousy, though maybe it is. I feel its more insecurity of my relationship self. Thanks for listening