What to do with life

@Butterscotch17

Hey there, I'm so sorry for what you've been going true but believe me, I know exactly what you feel. We have so much in common that honestly, I'm kind of having a hard time writing this one because it feels like I'm talking to myself.

Just 2 weeks ago I had a major issue with my aunt and uncle because I was just passing them by every time I come across them. But I did it because I'm not comfortable with them and I figured a long time ago that they talk behind my back whatever I do. So expectedly, not just them but also my own family discussed me again at that time. I also have no friends to vent to in real life, not to mention that I'm stuck with a major that is not my passion. Writing is also my real passion.

But I'm also aware of the inevitable fact that I still have to face my family everyday no matter how much and many times they talk behind my back, I still have to finish my studies in order to hopefully get a secured job, build my own life, and pursue my real passion. What I'm trying to say is, screw them! Do what you have to do, what you want, what makes you happy. I mean, you can't control their actions but you can control yours. It's hard but you can. It's alright to feel the pain first, but get up, wake up, and still try you best to live even if it feels too late and hopeless. What more could you lose right? If things don't work out successfully, you could say that at least you tried your best.

Now, I don't know if your major is about writing but if not, it's not too late to change your course, you're only sophomore. You just need to have a courage to tell your real passion to your mom. You have to at least try. I wish that's what I had done when I was sophomore.

Lastly, distract yourself by putting all your issues and problems to your goals in life by working on it. Time will go by so fast and your now is not your forever, according to John Green. Keep moving, keep fighting. Things will get better soon.

@Butterscotch17

P.S. If you're struggling with loneliness like me, you can always come back here in 7 cups and participate in forums. Hopefully, you can also find a good listener who can fill your needs. Good luck!

@Butterscotch17

P.P.S I also resort to my favorite things in life when I'm down: writing in my journal everything and reading novels.

I can relate to this completely. I've gone much of my life so far with few (if any) friends because of anxiety. The isolation affects me and then it gets worse. I genuinely care but it's still really hard to make those connections. I would second the notion of joining a MeetUp; in fact, I have joined one specifically for social anxiety and other issues, and have found some really great companionship there, especially since everyone else has the exact same issues.

When talking about my issues relating to myself or a family member (to another family member), I often find that they give that information away, and so nothing I say can really be trusted to them anymore. It's awful and unfortunate. Know that here and in plenty of other places, you can find others with the same struggles to talk to.

I say stay true to yourself. Finish college and become a writer, and never stop trying to make connections and managing your struggles. Like I said, you're not nearly as alone as you feel, and if you keep trucking down your path, you'll eventually find opportunities along the way.

I hope this helps. Wishing you the best :3