Who Even Am I?

For a really long while now, I've been insanely fixated on the idea of identity and it's caused me a lot of anxiety. I went through years of turmoil desperate to be someone else-- my then-crush, now-boyfriend's since-dead ex-girlfriend. I was jealous of her and what she had with him, and found myself wanting to be exactly like her but better. I wanted her out of the picture so I could be with him, then blamed myself when she died in 2015 from a plethora of health issues. He and I started dating a little less than a year afterward and even though I had won him, I still felt a lot of anxiety about her and whether he loved her more, whether she was better than me, whether I was the one who was meant to die and she deserved everything I was getting now. This lasted until roughly the end of last year, when I decided this nonsense needed to stop and I started really working on myself and trying to focus on myself and myself alone rather than trying to be her and whining and crying like a baby about my insistence that there was no way I could ever compete with her, even when my boyfriend and I moved in together. Letting that go was really difficult since I had been feeling this sense of severe inferiority since 2014 when my boyfriend and I met and I found out about her. I had a hard time trying to establish my own identity, one without her influence, and was scared when I found there were aspects of her that I aspired to reach on my own like her haircut and listening to the same type of music. It took some time to realize that I was allowed to have similarities to her on my own, that I didn't need to be afraid of having things in common with her because of how much time I had spent wanting to be exactly like her just to win the guy. For a while, I was doing much better but now I've been hit with a roadblock that has stirred up so many of these feelings in a new and strange way and I can't stop thinking about it. A few days ago I discovered my identity has been stolen. I know it's not personal, that it's just someone using my name and information to try and get shit, but I cannot help but think about it in a personal way as if someone is literally trying to be me. As someone who has wasted so much of their time wanting to be someone else, the thought of the shoe being on the other foot now is really bizarre and unsettling to me. I can't imagine why anyone would possibly want to be me in any capacity, and I know my case here isn't quite the same as my beef with the ex-girlfriend but it just all feels incredibly strange and disgustingly ironic the way this all sort of seemed to come full-circle in a way. I feel guilty about the way I used to think and act because I know now how it feels from the other end, even if I never knew this girl personally and we never met and she barely even knew I existed save for a Facebook presence. I feel violated and paranoid about my own case, and I feel aimless in regards to my own identity. I feel like I was just beginning to finally figure things out and come into my own, to break off of something and establish who I am and who I want to be as myself and for myself, and then this happens and I can't help but feel like I'm right back at square one questioning who I even am and what the hell I'm going to do about this not so much from a legal standpoint but just from an emotional and mental standpoint. I'm tired and I'm sad that this happened, and I'm angry and disappointed and depressed and I blame myself. But more than anything, I feel completely aimless and unhinged and a little violated because my identity has been stolen and I have no idea how to cope with it and all the crap that it's stirring up.