Worried about work
Hi
The doctors are taking me off my medication, despite my protests, and I hit a heavy episode of panic yesterday which lasted for about 2 hours.
The feeling was not quite a panic attack, but the level just before. After the episode it left me drained with a pervasive feeling of hopelessness and worthlessness.
My boss pulled me to one side and warned me about my lack of work completed just to top it off.
Now with today I've still got all those feelings of being hopeless and worthless, with an added quoir in my head literally singing all my mistakes.
I don't know what to do, I'm in no state to do the work today, and I can't go home without having to deal with the backlash from my family for leaving work early
@Amhlaidh Hiya, I'm sorry about your situation, it seems you are dammed if you do and dammed if you don't. Try and take it easy today, don't be so hard on yourself you're doing the best you can right now. You are worthy and deserving of love. Reaching out for help, looking for solutions and trying your best to maintain a job while you are so depressed are all good qualities. I think you should get a sick note from your doctor, and then you have a decision to make.. To hand the sick note to your employer and to stay in work or to hand the sick note to your employer and to take some time off. I hope your situation gets easier and you find hope and are able to heal. Take care, Sasha.
@Sasher
The sick note would give me time to process things but the family won't give me any time.
I've tried it before and they just saw it as me taking a holiday, so I was laden with cleaning and chores.
@Amhlaidh maybe you'll have more ease from your employer? Could you hand the sick note to your employer and let them know you need them to take it easy with you?
I know it's not always easy to communicate, especially in high emotion situations or when help is really needed but it seems that that is what you need to be able to do, to be able to communicate your needs and wants and to be understood.
Take care, Sasha.
@Sasher
My needs and wants have always seemed to take the back bench with people.
I go out when I like yes, but that's an escape. Anywhere is better than staying in the house. I'm not allowed to get my own place, threatened with police and mental health if I did just go.
I'm feeling trapped beyond belief
@Sasher
I took your advice. I've got time off work now. But its turned out exactly as I feared.
"If your not well enough to work then your not well enough to leave the house"
"Since your off you can catch up on your cleaning"
I might add that the cleaning in question is dictated by my mother, who is unemployed and sleeps till 2pm. It's not that I do nothing, it's just never good enough in this house, and come to mention it, I can't remember when I last heard any words of praise.
I hate to just ramble about my own problems, but I lack any person with whom to share them or to ask help from.
@Amhlaidh Hiya sorry I didn't reply straight away. It's no wonder that you feel hopeless as you seem to be in a hopeless situation. It can't be easy you must feel very drained and down hearted by it?
I'm assuming your Mum has her own issues and I hate to say but also it sounds as if she has given up trying to maintain the families well being? I'm wondering is someone abusive toward your mother?
It sounds as if there are a whole load of family issues and nobody is really able to offer one and other support?
I think you have two options: Learn to communicate with your mum even if it means you are putting in the majority of the effort. You need to let her know how you feel and that you need sometime to rest. And yes if you are wanting to be out all the time you are not going to look genuine. Trying putting yourself I'm tour mums shoes and seeing it from her point of view.
And your second option is to move out but again it's going to require communication if you want to move out with fighting with your family.
Take care, Sasha.
@Amhlaidh Seems like you have to go through such a hard situation. I'm really sorry that it happened but remember that you're not alone, we are here for you. I hope you can overcome this. It wouldn't be easy but I know you're strong enough to do it 
Hi @Amhlaidh it sound like you going through a rough time. Anxiety and panic attacks aren't always easy to deal with but it does help a lot when you have a strong support structure. We are always here if you want to talk. Take a deep breath and take it easy. One step at a time
Hi @Amhlaidh it sound like you going through a rough time. Anxiety and panic attacks aren't always easy to deal with but it does help a lot when you have a strong support structure. We are always here if you want to talk. Take a deep breath and take it easy. One step at a time
**Try putting yourself in your mums shoes and seeing it from her point of view.
And your second option is to move out, but again, it's going to require communication if you want to move out without fighting with your family. **
@Amhlaidh
Sorry you are feeling anxious over your job. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that this all works out for you. God Bless
