acute anxiety

trigger warning: SH When I'm in the midst of a situational depression I tend to have horrible panic attacks at night. It often feels like it wont get better, and I reach out to a crisis line only to be ridiculed. These attacks usually involve the urge to self harm but it seems like I never reach out to the proper resource if the crisis line isn't for that. I'm unsure of where to turn for help when my coping skills aren't enough, but at the same time it feels as if my problems aren't legitimate enough for real help.