just a vent

i started working about 2 weeks ago, a few days before my classes started again. I enjoy my work, it has a very nice environment and job is nice, though i don't think i'll find it that nice for too long...

anyway, i on anxiety meds for about an year, i hadnt have crisis or panic attacks for like 4 months, but i had one this past sunday :/ it was weird. I noticed i got a bit anxious at my classes, we have to do 3 projects for the semester, one is alone and the other 2 is in groups. almost everyone from my usual group quit and now i am one of the "left overs" when ppl are choosing. that rly bothers me and i get nervous thinking about that, i also get easily annoyed by my classmates, i can't wait for this to end.

but anyway, it made me think... i was feeling very good before classes started, so am i worrying more than i should about it, or is it something else, is college the bigger part of my anxiety problems?

today i cried at the bus on my way home. i think my girlfriend might be depressed and i don't rly know how to help her. since i got that job we haven't seen each other so often. we used to spend most days together at my place, but now i only get home at 8 p.m. and it is hard to see each other during the week. i have barely seen her on the weekends too, she says she wants to be alone. I understand it, a lot changed for both of us. She helped me a lot, rly a lot, during the past year with my anxiety problems, sometimes i think about things i did or said and i regret it so much, now i want to help her too, but it is a bit hard with my anxiety and paranoia.

I have this paranoia that i'm annoying or that i am doing or saying something wrong, i worry about what she thinks of me and i worry we are not good to each other's health