really i hate being like this
i’ve been struggling with overthinking most of my life. It hasn’t led to suicidal thoughts and I never want to but sometimes I wonder how would people act if I’m just not around anymore?. I feel like i can overwhelm my friends with my attitude because sometimes i get irritated, I’d like to change and not feel as if my friends hate me, there’s one friend that I feel has actually left me out every time we’re together she doesn’t acknowledge me in the conversation or she just reacts irritated from me. I try to be as nice as possible with everyone only to not feel left out, but when it happens I feel as if I was expecting it, and i start to overthink if i was too overwhelming or it just wasn’t my place. And sometimes, even if i don’t want to, i get shy not even knowing why. I have a boyfriend and i love him so much i feel like he’s my best friend but sometimes i feel like i overwhelm him too and it kinda saddens me. He shows me he loves me so much. And I used to draw, read and write a lot but i lost my passion, I’m kinda getting back in writing though. I feel like i’m not the same person as before anymore. I used to pray every night but now i don’t. Med school stresses me out so much i love it but still, my schedule this trimester starts so early and ends so late i can’t even properly rest a single day.
so yeah, this is my first entry i just want help.
Hello, sorry to hear of what you are going through. I know need school can be very very challenging, kudos for pursuing that challenging and often selfless endeavor. But I know it can be draining. I am glad to hear you have some good support from your boyfriend. I am sorry that you feel like there is distance between you and your friends. But maybe, like you said you may be over thinking it? Anyone even your friends might be going through something personal that leaks into how they treat other people. Maybe a friend is going through a tough time personally and is taking it out on you without meaning too. You never know. I just want to put it out there that maybe it's not you. You said you try to be nice, and well, in my book that's what a good person does. So don't be too hard on yourself. Remember to take a deep breath, try not to over think things, give things an appropriate about of your attention, and then, I'd recommend look to ask of the things in your life you are thankful for and appreciate them. Life is stressful many times but it's absolutely full of good things too. Hope you feel better and wishing you a wonderful future.
@gmcd00 Proud of you for making your first 7cups post and thank you for being so open. Overthinking can feel like you're figuring things out, but more often than not in my experience I find myself worrying over things that would never happen in the first place. Saying it out loud even to yourself can make it almsot humorous. Glad to hear you've got back into journaling. Journaling, drawing, dancing, singing, these are all still part of you. I just hope to encourage you to explore your self more and get back into communities where you feel seen. Please reach out if you ever need to vent or talk to a friend.