thoughts of hurting others
Hi there. I recently have been having thoughts of harming others. They're like strong urges, a desire. A desire or a want to inflict pain on another person, but physically. I have no intention on breaking someone mentally, but I know hurting them badly could traumatize them deeply. This started a few years ago when I pulled a small pocket knife on my sister. I did not hurt her, but it shut her mouth and I felt good, in power, in control. From then on, I've felt the strong urge to hurt someone just to feel in control and that I did something.. does anyone have what this could be? I want to refrain from lashing out at my family! all help is appreciated
~Isabella
Hi ! I would suggest you seek some help from a therapist or hospital! No judgement, but I just think that you would be left with a lot of regret if you ever acted on it, not to mention really hurting someone. You could work out these feelings in a safe place.
@IsabellaMarx you associated your thoughts to physically harm others with the desire of power, but I am left wondering, why do you want power? do you wish to inflict harm on anyone or specific people? is there a specific trigger for when you want to harm them like anger or do you always feel this incline?
It seems you do not wish to harm your family and you are working out your thoughts and feelings, so I applaud you for that as I am sure it's not easy to open up about these thoughts.
@luxx454
Yes, I don't want to hurt my loved ones,, but I want to feel in control because my family has always been one to tell me to hush up, since I wasn't the one speaking nor did I have the right to speak. It made me feel small and worthless. I want power so I can feel like I have accomplished something, so I can speak out and have my thoughts heard. Since I was never able to do so, I resorted to violence to get what I want.
@IsabellaMarx Ah so you feel like you do not have a voice in your family, and violence gives you what you want, the power and authority. I relate to the part about not realing having a voice in my family and I also desire to not be seen as small or worthless but I feel perhaps deep down, you want to have a conenction of being heard and respected. In reality, I feel that you would not resort to violence if you felt heard and loved in your family, but it's sometimes our environement that causes us to become this way. But you do not have to succumb to this, you are far from small and worthless and you do need violence to establish that. And I say this because I wish someone told that to me and I hope one day you really see this yourself as well
I can't really relate to actually wanting to act them out, but I've had violent thoughts when i felt incredibly oppressed or violated. Definitely try to address and unravel that feeling rather than acting on your thoughts.