Anxiety finally manifest, can

I am new to this place. Before i proceed, I would like to ask how to change my account name? 😅 kind of misleading when in fact I am a girl.

I am glad i stumbled how there is such an amazing place with so many people who are willing to share and listen. Tbh I am still skeptical there are people who would want to listen to other peoples problem without incentive. That goes without saying that I in fact struggle with trusting people.

So the saddest event this year is that today is my birthday and I havent any cake and the day is coming to an ends. I feel lonely and just.. bleak. I use to have lots of friends. On my last birthday I had 5 cakes to blow in a day from family, friends and colleagues. And celebrated over 3 days. What a difference a year has made since. Today i turn 27 and I feel lonelier than ever and I am completely to blame. I have never truly been upfront and honest with my use to be close friends. I never tell them any of my problems and .. I just didnt know where to begin so ai avoided things entirely. I have never been professionally diagnose with any mental disorder, never seeked help except my own search through the web. I think I have severe anxiety and some other stuff. Im desperate to talk to someone, anyone. So yeah.. I am at my wits end, if anyone would listen maybe sharing this will help me find my way towards healing and recovery.